How to Tap Into the Life-Changing Power of Gratitude

How to Tap Into the Life-Changing Power of Gratitude

by Warwick Fairfax

Sept 30, 2025

Life is not easy. Left to their own devices, our minds tend to drift to everything that has gone wrong and is going wrong in our lives. We think of people who have hurt us and let us down. How could they do that to us?

We think of our career that might not be where we want it to be, or a job we have lost. We think of health challenges or loved ones who have passed away. Life seems to be so unfair. As we reflect on everything that has gone wrong in our lives, and the tumult, division and brokenness in the world, it is easy to get frustrated, angry and even depressed.

But how does this help us bounce back from our worst day, our crucible? It doesn’t. To move forward in our lives, to in some way use the brokenness we feel to help others and live a life of significance, we need to think differently. We need to in some sense rewire our brain and be more disciplined about what we let our mind dwell on. Thinking about all the hurts we feel and see around us rarely serves us.

So what is the alternative? We need to train our brains, indeed our hearts and our souls, to dwell on gratitude. This will fill us with joy and the energy to move past our cruciblers and into a life of significance. Some might say they have so much pain and tragedy in their lives that it is impossible to be grateful. That is understandable. But what is remarkable is that almost every guest on our podcast, Beyond The Crucible, many of whom have gone through incredibly painful setbacks and tragedies, have found a way to be grateful. That sense of gratitude has helped to chart the way forward and given them energy and perspective to not only keep going, but to do so with joy.

Here are some thoughts about how to be grateful.

1. Pause the anger and grievance cycle. For people of faith, that would mean praying to God to help you pause these negative feelings. You know deep down that this is not serving you or the people you love. For some it will mean being still, meditating and clearing your mind of all thoughts, certainly negative ones.

2. Think of at least one thing you are grateful for. At first this might seem almost impossible. But if we examine our lives deeply enough, we can almost always think of at least one thing. Perhaps it was a friend in school or a teacher; maybe a boss or co-worker. Maybe we had some artistic or athletic abilities that we enjoyed or continue to enjoy. Maybe it is broader, such as being thankful for having God in our lives, or just being alive.

3. Create categories of things and people that you are grateful for. Think of family; our parents, spouse or partner, kids and siblings. Think of friends, co-workers. Think of past relationships from different stages and places in your life.  Think of the gifts and abilities that you have and the ability to use them to help others.  Think of the beauty of nature.  Think of things you have accomplished.

4. Now spend time in each of these categories and go into some detail. For instance, you can think of friends in elementary, middle and high school and then college. Think of friends in the different places you have lived and in your neighborhood. Name each of these friends and be specific about why you are grateful for them and the impact they had in your life. Go through this detailed process of being grateful for specific people and specific things in each area of your life; family, work, hobbies and activities.

5. Commit to being grateful on a regular basis. Think of being grateful like you would following a diet or exercise program. Exercising one day a year or even one day a month does not do much good. It needs to be regular, ideally every day. So every day, find time to take at least a few minutes to be grateful. At first this might be difficult. But after a while, like starting a flywheel, it will get easier. You might even find a few minutes turning into thirty minutes or even an hour.

6. Find a place where being grateful is easier. A place that will stimulate your gratitude muscles. It could be a walk in the woods or in the park. It could be in a museum or in the ambience of your favorite coffee shop with all the sights, smells and sounds that you have come to love there.

7. Don’t give up. At first, being grateful may not be easy. Especially amid the devastation of a crucible that may feel almost impossible. But start small and then go from there, and you may well find that your list of what you are grateful grows.

It is easy to be angry and bitter and keep a record of every grievance and every hurt we have. That will not help us to move forward. It will tend to keep us mired in our worst day. That is not what we want. We need to stop ruminating on all the pain and disappointment we have been through, whether that has been caused by others or whether we had a part in it. We need to forgive, and if something needs to be done or said then do that.

But endlessly dwelling on our hurts and grievances is not productive. It will tend to corrode our soul. Remember, bitter and angry people tend to hurt others, often those we love the most. Is that who we want to be?

Let’s be people of gratitude and thankfulness not grievance, anger, envy and bitterness.