Wounds Are Inevitable. Here’s How to Minimize Their Pain.

Wounds Are Inevitable. Here’s How to Minimize Their Pain.

by Warwick Fairfax

October 31, 2025

Crucibles are painful. The reality is that many if not most of us have had searing challenges that fundamentally altered the course of our lives. With those challenges come wounds. Some are obvious to us and to others, such as physical wounds and disabilities. Some may not be so obvious. They may be internal, and others may not see them every day or even at all. It could be the loss of a loved one, abuse, getting fired or losing a business. We can sometimes mask what people see, saying we are fine.

But crucibles and indeed wounds have consequences, even if we find a way to move on from them.

While we might be able in some sense move beyond our wounds, wounds leave scars that may never fully heal. Wounds under certain circumstances can reopen and might make us feel triggered.

So how can we get beyond our wounds and not have them affect us so much?

1. Accept that our wounds will never fully heal. This is tough. We all want our wounds to go away. We want to be free of them. We don’t want to keep reliving our worst day, whether it was abuse or financial failure. We are sick and tired of getting triggered. But the reality is that we will never be completely free from our wounds. So the first step is acceptance. These wounds are a part of you, the new you – for better or for worse.

2. Take an inventory of what your wounds are. Why would we want to do this? Once we have accepted that our wounds will always in some sense be a part of us, we need to know what they are before we can learn to deal with them more effectively. Some may be obvious like physical wounds and disabilities. But some may need some thought to fully identify what they are.

3. Analyze why they hurt so much. The why matters. Especially for the wounds that seem to get triggered often, delve into why these wounds are so painful and why it might seem so hard to let them go. The solution to trying to ease these wounds, not necessarily to eliminate them, depends on understanding more deeply why they are still so painful.

4. Consider the circumstances that trigger these wounds. Certain situations might seem to trigger these wounds, and the scabs seem to open. Why is this? What people and what situations seem to trigger flare ups of those wounds?

5. Anchor yourself in your truth. To be able to deal more effectively with your wounds, you need to know what truth, your truth, is; not the lies you or others are telling you. Often our wounds are triggered by us or others saying that we are not worthy enough or are even worthless. They or us might say that we are indeed defined by our worst day and that redemption and forgiveness is impossible. That is not true. Reject the lies.

6. When your wounds are triggered, deal with it immediately. You might feel only mildly triggered by a situation or what someone says, and you might feel that on a one to ten scale your triggering is only a two or a three. But a bit like weeds, that triggering of the wounds you have can grow and get worse.

7. Have a proven system for dealing with those wounds when flare ups happen. When you feel triggered, know how you are going to anchor yourself in truth, what you know to be true. For some it might mean reading Scripture and then praying about it or praying with a trusted friend or family member. For others it might mean reading or viewing some truth that you might feel is sacred to you and summarizes what you believe to your very core. Meditate on those thoughts and truth, and consider asking someone else to sit with you as you process these thoughts.

8. See your wounds as a blessing. This may be the hardest step of all. How can our wounds be a blessing? They are so painful. As most if not all of our podcast guests have affirmed, our wounds can be used for good to bless others. Nobody wants wounds. But if we have them why not try to make something good come out of them? Begin to consider how specifically our wounds can help others. What type of people can they help and in what situations?

Wounds are painful. They remind us of the depths of our crucible, and how much others have hurt us or what a terrible person we might think we are. Having a system of dealing with situations or people that trigger our wounds is helpful. Some solutions may be obvious, such as reducing or avoiding being around people or situations that continually trigger our wounds. This may not always be easy to do.

While we may never be fully able to get over our wounds and avoid having them getting triggered, we can try to reduce how many flare ups we have and reduce the severity of those flare ups.

And by using those wounds to help others, it can give our life added purpose. That is what the guests on our podcast have done in almost every case. By using our wounds to help others, it can give our wounds purpose and meaning, which ironically in certain cases can reduce the pain of those wounds.

When we can say our wounds are actually a blessing, that reframing is a victory that has so much power.