Summer Reflections: Rest is a Weapon for a Life of Significance

Warwick Fairfax:
Welcome to Beyond the Crucible. I’m Warwick Fairfax, the founder of Beyond the Crucible. In our life and work, it’s so important to have seasons of rest because by taking a break from what we do professionally, or maybe it’s a mission that we’re devoting our life to, we can focus on family, friends, and hobbies. And as we’ll get into, it can actually freshen our thinking at work.

Gary Schneeberger:
Prioritizing rest. Taking the time to take a break. It can sound counterintuitive to living a life of significance, but as we discuss this week, it’s actually critical to it. Why and how? We discuss several reasons why slowing down can actually speed up your readiness to live a life on purpose dedicated to serving others. And it all starts with remembering the words of super spy Jason Bourne. Rest is a weapon.
Well, here we are again, folks, after … Right? The first episode after our summer series, Big Screen, Big Crucibles. And was that not … You don’t have to answer right now. Was that not big fun? Yes. I believe it was big fun and big insight as well. But we are coming back and we’re coming back with an episode, folks, that this is behind the scenes at Beyond the Crucible that you may not know, that there’s really no way you could know.
And that’s this. The series that you just heard, Big Screen, Big Crucibles, was actually … You heard it over the last two months, but it was recorded the two months before that. We recorded that in May and June. And the reason why we recorded it in May and June is the subject of what we’re going to be talking about today, or is part of the subject of what we’re going to be talking about today, which is the first podcast episode. Today is the first podcast episode since June. I don’t know about you, Warwick. I’m feeling a little rusty right now, actually.

Warwick Fairfax:
Absolutely. But it’s good to get back in the saddle.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yeah. For sure. Let’s hope we don’t fall off. The subject that we’re diving into today, folks, is pressing pause on diving into our usual day-to-day routine. There are times when absolutely work and all those responsibilities are important. And they’re always important, but there’s also times where rest is important. And that’s what we’re going to talk about here today. And Warwick, this subject, right? We’re talking about this because you, over the course of the summer, after we recorded the summer series, you had been doing some reflecting this summer about why rest is so important. So why did you decide, Warwick? Why did you think about doing this? Our first time back behind the microphones in a couple of months. Why did you decide to really drill down and talk about the power of pausing?

Warwick Fairfax:
So over the summer, we’ve been in Northern Michigan, about as far North in Northern Michigan as you can get without being in the Upper Peninsula. And we kind of plan this out in advance. So as you’re mentioning, we record the summer series in May and June so that in July and August, while our podcasts are coming out … And it was such a fun series on Big Screen, Big Crucibles, and some great movies we discussed. But we’re not actually recording them in July and August, so that gives us an opportunity for a break. And being Australian, I grew up in a culture where it’s okay to take a vacation, okay to take a break. You don’t have bosses saying, “Say what? You want to take three or four weeks off?” And that’s a week, maybe two. So culturally, a little bit different. So when I’m working, I give it 100%, but I believe in just having periods where you are not operating at the same speed, at least in terms of our work life.
So I value this time, as we’ll get into, up in Northern Michigan where I’m not the usual full tilt with Beyond the Crucible. And as I thought about the importance of rest, one of the phrases I love is from a character that Robert Ludlum writes about, Jason Bourne. I think many of us have seen the Jason Bourne movies. And there’s obviously a series of books behind them. And here’s this sort of super secret spy type that does things that nobody else can do. And before he goes into battle, so to speak, or in some mission and somewhere on the planet, he has this expression, which is, “Rest is a weapon.”
And so by that, he means if he’s going to be up like 24, 48 hours up against the bad guys and trying to accomplish some secret mission, if you will. And without getting into it too far, Jason Bourne is somebody that he tries to do good, but it seems like the whole world is against him. So that’s not easy to actually rest. But anyway, the concept is when he’s going to be having to be at his best to survive and accomplish his mission, he has to be rested beforehand. So really, if he doesn’t rest, it may be a life or death decision. It could cost him his life. So he’s a smart guy. And therefore, rest is a weapon. So that phrase has always stuck with me.

Gary Schneeberger:
And the names of those movies, the three original Jason Bourne movies starring Matt Damon were The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Ultimatum, and The Bourne Supremacy. I would add to this, as we talk about this, we’re really talking about what Bourne says. We’re talking about the Bourne significance, right? We’re talking about how to live a life of significance with rest. I think that’s what we’re going to unpack here as we keep talking.

Warwick Fairfax:
Absolutely. It’s really critical. And I think more broadly, in our life and work, it’s so important to have seasons of rest because by taking a break from what we do professionally, or maybe it’s a mission that we’re devoting our life to, we can focus on family, friends, and hobbies. And as we’ll get into, it can actually freshen our thinking at work. So sometimes we feel guilty about taking a break. And again, I love America, I’m a dual citizen, Australian and American. But in America, probably more than many other Western countries, taking a break is not as easy a sell. At least traditionally, it wasn’t as easy a sell. Like in Australia, they want to take a few weeks off and travel around Europe backpacking, it’s like, “Sure. Go ahead.” So you’ve really got to believe in it. Here, it can be a bit of a challenge culturally, but it’s just so important to keep ourselves fresh. So sometimes you almost feel like we have to seek permission to rest. We feel guilty about it, but we shouldn’t. And that’s really, I think, a big theme that we’ll be talking about.

Gary Schneeberger:
Right. And it’s interesting that you said earlier, as we were talking, that when you’re at work, right? In those seasons when you’re … You give it 100%. And I think what you’re going to advocate here as we talk about the importance of rest is we need to give rest … Strange as it sounds maybe at first hearing, we need to give rest 100%, right? That’s critically important that we do it in an active way that does refresh us, right?

Warwick Fairfax:
That’s such an important point, Gary. Yeah. Whatever I’m doing, whether I’m working Beyond the Crucible, on a nonprofit board, at least I’ve been on a couple of nonprofit boards and elder at my church and number of things I’m involved in, I give it 100%. But when I’m on vacation, yes, I’ll check email once in a while, but if you’re on vacation, you’ve got to be on vacation. There are some people that go on vacation, they’re checking emails every second, they’re scheduling five Zoom calls a day, and their family never sees them. That’s not vacation and that’s not rest. Doesn’t mean that you have to go cold turkey, shut off your phone, but you just need to prioritize rest. And you know what works for you. But this being at work while on vacation, that’s not rest. And a lot of people do that. They just cannot unplug.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yeah. And one of the things that makes it so interesting that we’re talking about this is that I used the phrase earlier that rest, pausing to do that is kind of part of the soul, right? It’s kind of baked into Beyond the Crucible. Maybe a more accurate way to say it is it’s just a part, it’s become a part because it’s a part of you, and you’re the founder of Beyond the Crucible, that rest is part of the brand of Beyond the Crucible, isn’t it?

Warwick Fairfax:
It’s interesting. Beyond the Crucible is a reflective brand. And certainly, part of the reason for that is that I’m a reflective person. I call myself a reflective advisor. For me to be at my best, thinking of ways to help people bounce back from their worst days to lead lives of significance, I have to have periods of calm where I can reflect. If I’m running a million miles an hour and stressed out, doing 85 things at once … As a side note, I’m not a huge believer in multitasking because some people say they can do it, but I don’t know, to me, you kind of do everything not as well, but maybe it’s me. But all that’s to say is if I’m running a million miles an hour and doing 85 things at once or have a lot of balls I’m juggling, I’m not going to be at my best.
I’m not going to be able to reflect and think of what are some ways that people can bounce back from their worst days. I write blogs, we do podcasts together, reflecting on different themes, we prepare discussions that we’re going to have with guests. If I’m not in a good reflective space, I will not be a good interviewer for the guests we have. I won’t have good points to discuss. It will significantly affect the quality of what we do at Beyond the Crucible and will mean that we’re not able to help people bounce back from their worst days and live lives of significance as well as we could. So for me, it’s absolutely critical. And I find when there are times when I’m sort of resting and walking in the woods or being a person of faith and my daily Bible study and reflection, maybe it’s watching a movie, there’s all sorts of things where I’m unplugging from work, ideas will come to me that might have nothing to do with what I’m doing. It might be chi. Rest is so important.
Or as I’ve been walking in the woods over the summer, I probably thought of three or four or five different ideas that could be future blogs or podcasts. So it just percolates in my brain. I’m not even trying, but by giving your brain a rest, it’s amazing what can come up. So I am a reflective person, but if I don’t have seasons of rest, it could be over the summer or just during the year in making sure I try to walk every day and have exercise, periods of rest on the weekend, if I’m not doing that, I’m not going to be a very good reflective advisor, reflective person. It will impact my life and the brand. So certainly, for this brand, especially running around at a million miles an hour, it’s going to directly affect my ability to help people. So it’s critical for me. It’s critical for me to be able to help others, which is our mission.

Gary Schneeberger:
Right. And I’ll jump in here as the American in this conversation to say … Right? Because when that happens, when you go to Northern Michigan and you take that time, the rest of us on the team get a little bit of a break there too. A little bit of rest there too. And I think that’s an important distinction. A break sounds like you’re just kind of doing nothing, whereas active relaxing is going into those things that ignite you, that bring your soul up on fire and do some … You’re building relationships. You’re doing some things like that.
So I’ll raise my hand and tell everybody it’s a wonderful thing for those of us who aren’t accustomed to having two months, in essence, off of not everything that we do, we still worked, but certainly recording podcasts, we weren’t [inaudible 00:13:58] over that time, which explains one of the reasons … That’s one of reasons why I’m probably not doing this very well. I’m stumbling over things because I haven’t done this in two months. But the rest was worth it. And I’ll get back into playing shape here at some point. But that is those of us who aren’t accustomed to it embrace it as well. So I just wanted to make sure that was clear.

Warwick Fairfax:
Yeah. And thank you for that. And I guess another point I’d like to make is obviously it’s important to Beyond the Crucible. And I would say more broadly, I think it’s important for the work that we do and whatever that mode is. But I think what we underrate is if we don’t have seasons of rest, then we’re not going to be at our best to help others, not just at work, at home. How many times do you have the busy male or female executive that come back, the kids want to spend time with mom or dad, and they’re absolutely fried because they’re always fried? The pressure, the challenges. And sometimes there are things you can’t do a whole lot about, but to the degree you can … And the kids say, “Hey, Mom, Dad. Can you play? Can you throw a ball? Can you … Let’s bake something together, whatever it is.”
And said, “No, leave me. No, I’m busy.” It’s just like, “Give me a break. I don’t have time for stuff like this,” whatever. We don’t want to talk to our kids that way, but when we’re fried, we’ll say things we really would wish that we didn’t. And then eventually, our kids won’t ask. I think of that haunting song by Cat Stevens, Cat’s in the Cradle. And it was like ’60s, ’70s. And the dad’s busy and the kid’s always asking him to play, throw a ball, and the dad says, “Well, I’m super busy right now, but we’ll have a good time then where we can …” Well, it never happens. And so the dad retires and says, “Hey, son. Let’s hang out.” And the son says, “You know what, Dad? I’m so busy at work. The kids are just all over the place, but we’ll do it sometime. We’ll have a good time then.”
You don’t want to live out that song. And so you want to avoid living out that Cat’s in the Cradle song. You’ve got to find ways of having rest, whether it’s a summer vacation, whether it’s a Saturday, because if you’re not at your best, you won’t be at your best for your husband, wife, partner, friends, family. I think we underrate how important it is. In theory, we should love our spouse, partner, kids, relatives, friends. If we say we love them, we’ll want to be at our best. To be at our best, we’ve got to find ways of resting and recharge our batteries. Otherwise, it’s going to have relational lifelong consequences, not just at work, but in every area of our lives.

Gary Schneeberger:
Right. We’re about to flip the script a bit, folks, and Warwick’s going to ask me a question, but before you do that, I pulled a quote, as I tend to do on these episodes. And this is a perfect time for me to insert this quote. This is a quote from someone named Eleanor Brown. I’m not sure who Eleanor is, but this is what she said about what you’re talking about right now. “Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow.” And I love this last line. “You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” That’s what you’ve been talking about the last three or four minutes, right?

Warwick Fairfax:
It’s such an important point. I think of when you’re flying and they give you the safety instructions. “Mom, dad, if you’re traveling with a kid, make sure you put the oxygen mask on first before you put it on your kid because you’ve got to be … To help your child, you’ve got to be able to breathe yourself first.” So yeah, we’re not going to be able to help people, unless we’re rested ourselves. And you’re right. Help comes out of the overflow of the energy and compassion that we have. And they will tend to erode without rest. I don’t care how much you believe in your mission, how much you want to help people. If you don’t have seasons of rest, there’ll be no overflow to help anybody, whether it’s your mission or anybody else. So that’s such a great point, is you want that overflow of energy and compassion.
Let’s say your kid or spouse, partner has had a terrible day and they want to talk for an hour or two and they want you to just listen. If you’re fried, I guarantee you, you won’t be able to listen. I said, “You know what? Can we bottom line this? Can you give me the Cliff Notes? I’ve heard this spiel so many times. I’m really tired of you whining,” or as you say in Australia, whinging. “Just get to the point and get over it.” We’ll say cruel and really hurtful things rather than if we’re in a good headspace and a place of rest, then maybe we can listen for an hour or two and just say, “Gosh, I’m so sorry. That sounds so awful. I’m sorry you went through that at work. I’m sorry what your brother and sister said to you. I know that’s an old wound. I’m so sorry.” You can’t do that if you don’t have seasons of rest, which gives you hopefully the opportunity to have some level of compassion, ability to listen to those we love the most.

Gary Schneeberger:
Right.

Warwick Fairfax:
So let’s flip the script a bit, as you suggest, Gary. So Gary, you wrote this really good blog with some great insights in June. And it’s called Finding Peace in the Heat: 4 Ways Summer Can Help You Heal From a Crucible. And you talk quite a bit about the meaning of rest in that blog. So talk a bit about what is the meaning of rest?

Gary Schneeberger:
Yeah. And it’s interesting, Warwick, that I wrote this actually in May. It came out in June before we ever started recording the series, before either one of us was on that little bit of a sabbatical break over the months that the series ran. So it’s kind of like … It’s very fortuitous that that came out because they’re connected. What you’re talking about, what I talked about here back several months ago is all very much connected. And it’s interesting that they’re connected from two different points of the journey that we talk about, right? We’re talking here on this episode really about making sure that taking rest to ensure that you can live out your life of significance the way that you want to. I, back in June, wrote about helping you overcome a crucible by taking rest. And one of the things that was really critical to what I wrote, I thought, was this idea of we need to redefine rest.
Just think about that for a minute, folks. To redefine rest. It’s more than binging Netflix, right? It’s more than collapsing into bed early. It’s more than just kind of hanging out and looking at this … It’s more than whiling away the hours. It’s more than, quote, unquote, “Wasting time”. It’s about what fills you, not just about what numbs you. That, I think, is rest with a purpose. And I think it works, as I said, on both ends of this continuum. It works as we’re looking to do what we did this summer, which is to rest in order to carry out our lives of significance more fully, but it also works to help us overcome crucibles. It also works to help us slow down and to focus on the healing that we need. And one of the things I wrote in the blog, and I’ll pose these questions out to you, our listeners and viewers, is ask yourself these questions.
What kind of rest do I need today? There’s physical rest, right? Like naps and sleep. But there’s also emotional rest. Setting boundaries is a good example. Creative rest, reading poetry, painting. Warwick talked a little bit about that. And spiritual rest. He talked about that too. Prayer, meditation, silence. And then this part, this sounds weird. It sounds weird for me to say this because I’m like, “This is the most important part,” because I wrote it, but this part is really important, and I think I was inspired to do so. And that is this, schedule rest like it matters because it does, right? I don’t think we can say that enough. To schedule rest is important because if you don’t schedule it, the time to do it’s going to pass you by, right?

Warwick Fairfax:
These are such important points. Just touching on that last point, we scheduled this rest in the summer a few months ago. We talked. I don’t know if it was March, April, before. “Okay. We’ve done a summer movie series the last few summers. Are we going to do one? Okay. What’s it going to be?” And then we figured it out. Summer movie series based on some of the best crucible movies. And then, okay, so we want to figure out a way to record it in May and be done by June. So it’s going to be a little intense in May and June. And it was. Lot of work.

Gary Schneeberger:
Well, I would say it was more than a little. It was quite intense, right? And we had some … Right? And not only was it intense, but the margin for error. This didn’t work and that didn’t work and something else happened. It was hard, but boy, was it worth it, right? When we got to the end of it, it was worth it. Not just because we got to rest afterwards, but because of what we created.

Warwick Fairfax:
Well said. Well said. Yeah. I spoke in my native Australian tongue or Australian English heritage. So as I jokingly say if an Australian says, or an Englishman, “Yeah. How’s your business going?” “Oh, not bad.” That means it’s lights out. It’s doing tremendously. If you say, “Ah, how’s it going?” “Oh, we’ve bit of spot of bother,” that would be kind of English. That means you’re about to go bankrupt. Yeah. When I say it was a little intense, that means, boy, it was very intense.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yeah. Indeed.

Warwick Fairfax:
I translated that into American. So yes, I can’t help myself. A little cultural Australian there. But yeah, it was intense. But the point about why we did it is, yes, we like a summer movie series, but it enables us to do a whole bunch of them together in ways that are a bit more challenging with regular guests. And it’s a fun thing to do, but it means in July and August, yes, we’re listening to the podcast and just previewing it, but it’s much less work where we scheduled this rest months in advance.
We spend summer in Northern Michigan from basically first week in June to first, second week at September. That’s something we schedule every summer. We figure out family that’s going to come. We schedule all of that. So that doesn’t happen by accident. If you’re going to go on a trip somewhere with family, you schedule that. You’ll have to book air tickets, book places to go. Spontaneous can work, but these days, spontaneous means you may not get into the place you want to get to. And it also means the price of the air ticket will be astronomical, unless a miracle happens. If you decide today, in two hours, let’s jump on a plane, it can work, but the price will be astronomical. So all that’s to say is it’s important to schedule rest. And I like so many of the points you have here.
Yeah. You can binge Netflix, and that’s okay, but it’s like you want it to be things that sort of fill you up, not just numb you. Purpose is everything. And what are the things you like to do? Maybe it’s walking in the woods. Maybe it’s just going on an adventure or a hike. Maybe it’s you like painting. There’s all sorts of different ways of taking rest. Maybe you’ve got some challenging relationships. Okay. So maybe you want a season where you don’t want back-to-back-to-back visits with people who are really emotionally challenging. You want to help them. But if your tank just keeps running dry because you just thought, “Let me schedule every challenging family member and friend I can have. We’ll do back-to-back for about seven weeks, but just let’s just go,” it doesn’t mean you don’t care, but by the time you enter the last weeks of that, you’ll have nothing left.
You’ll do damage to those relationships. It’s just you have to be smart. So it doesn’t mean that you don’t care, but create boundaries with relationships, as you put it. What are those things that help provide you spiritual rest? If you’re a person of faith, like Gary and I are, yes, there might be seasons of prayer, meditation, some people do fasts, or silent retreats. Different people of faith have different rhythms, but find what works for you. Maybe you want to go for a weekend away or a week away with some guys or some women friends. There are different ways of having rest. Think about what are the rhythms that work for you, but plan it, be intentional about it, and don’t just kind of, “Oh, I’ll do it sometime.” Plan it, schedule it, and reflect on what are the types of rest that really fill you up. And we’re all different, so it’ll be different for everybody.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yeah. So folks, if you want to know more about in depth the blog that was written for summer, that blog is called Finding Peace in the Heat: 4 Ways Summer Can Help You Heal From a Crucible. So that’s the beginning end of our journey. And now, Warwick, let’s talk a little bit about … You’ve identified four points as we’re walking out our lives of significance, four ways that rest benefits us as we’re doing that. And the first one is this, it helps prevent burnout. How so?

Warwick Fairfax:
So it’s easy to get burnt out at work. And sometimes we can get burnt out with the business or mission that they were off-the-charts passionate about, that we think will truly help people. And we think, “Well, I can’t afford to take a break. There are people hurting. If I take a break, that means it’s one less person that’s going to get helped. I can’t afford to quit. If they’re suffering their challenges, they don’t quit. So why should I quit?” You can convince yourself how, “I have a duty to just not quit and run 24/7,” but we need to realize for us to truly be able to help people, especially if it’s a mission we’re off-the-charts passionate about, we have to take a break because if you don’t take a break, not only will your thinking be less creative, you’ll start snapping at team members that work with you. “Hey, this is too important. Okay? Do you have to take an hour lunch? How about 15 minutes? How about a half hour? Come on. Let’s get with it. That presentation you did, it was terrible. Come on.”
We tried to convince some investors or we were trying to get some partners on board who will help turbocharge our mission. “That was a solid B+, but anything short of A+ means we’re not doing what we need to.” You can be just really like a tyrant. And people will leave and say that, again, “I love the mission, but, gosh, you’ve turned into a jerk.” They might say to you, “You just … You’re impossible to work with. You’re so passionate. You’re just making life miserable for the rest of us here.” So burnout can really … It can torpedo the greatest mission and the greatest business. You will just flame out and people will leave. So if you really care about your team and you care about your mission and business, we often say it’s too important to fail, where your mission and business is too important for you not to have a rest. That should be the way you should look at it.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yeah. And it’s interesting you said early on in what you were just saying that this idea of quitting. And it’s important to note rest is not quitting, right? Rest is just resting. And I think a lot of us have this guilt that comes with rest. If I rest, I’ve stopped forward motion and I’m abandoning the journey or I’m abandoning the mission or the goal. And that’s not true. If it’s done intentionally, again, in a way that’s designed to build you up, to feed you, it’s actually helping you along your journey, right?

Warwick Fairfax:
It’s true. And I think in some cultures, and it’s not just the US, but there can be a cultural context making it harder to rest. Could be like, “Oh, it’s easy for some. Wish I could take a break.” And some people, their jobs are in a situation where it’s harder to take a break. Doesn’t mean it’s nice to put a guilt trip on you, but it’s like, “It’s nice for some.” I remember I was fortunate enough to go to Harvard Business School. And a lot of folks who go there work in investment banking or management consulting firms for a couple years before business school. I remember hearing stories from people in their 20s in investment banking. If you left for about 7:00 or eight o’clock at night, that’s a half day.

Gary Schneeberger:
Right.

Warwick Fairfax:
10:00 or 11:00, okay, it’s beginning to get acceptable. So you’d have people saying, “Oh, half day. Oh, that’s nice for you. Oh, you took a weekend off. What’s a weekend? There’s no such thing as a weekend. You work 24/7 here.” So it’s just … There certainly used to be this corporate pressure and cultural pressure that you do not take a break. And so that makes it harder when you feel like you’re going to be guilt-tripped by your buddies. And they might find it funny needling, but it’s not helpful. But you just got to realize or say to yourself, “Other people can say what they want. I’m not going to bow to cultural pressure or needling from my buddies.”
It’s like, “I believe rest is important for my family, for my business. And if I’m not doing this, then I’m not going to be at my best. And if people want to tease me, get on my case, have at it. I’m not going to just bow to needling or cultural pressure.” You just got to commit to what you believe in. If you believe rest is important, don’t let other people … Guilt trips on you change the way you want to lead your life. It makes no sense.

Gary Schneeberger:
Right. The second point, the second benefit that you have pulled out, Warwick, about rest is that seasons of rest reduce the possibility of having your identity completely wrapped up in what you do. We’ve talked about this, you’ve talked about this quite a bit on the podcast, quite a bit in your blogs. Why is that so important, not to have your identity caught up in what it is that you do? And why does rest, does being intentional about rest, why does that help you avoid that?

Warwick Fairfax:
It’s very easy for many of us to have our identity wrapped up in what we do. You feel like, “Okay. There’s another rung. I’m vice president. I’m a director. I want to get to that next level.” And nothing wrong with ambition and wanting to get to the next level, but when you have your whole identity defined as getting to that next level, you’re just consumed with the upward trajectory. Maybe you have this nonprofit you think that will help so many people, and your identity is all wrapped up in it. And it’s just very dangerous because when your whole life is defined by your business or mission, you’ll tend to make poor decisions and you’ll certainly find that resting, “Oh, I can’t rest.” But you’ve got to say to yourself, “Who I am is not defined by what I do, nor is who I am defined by how many people I can help.”
You can get caught in the, “Hey, I know this other nonprofit that’s helping twice as many people as we do. There’s another business that’s three times as successful as I am.” The comparison game will make it impossible to have rest. And you’ll just be consumed by what you do. So you’ve got to make a decision to say, “My identity is not going to be wrapped up in what I do. And therefore, I am also going to take time to rest to recharge my batteries.” Because if your identity is wrapped up in what you do, it’s like, “Well, if I take a break, and then we won’t be as successful, we won’t be able to help as many people.”
That’s part of what fuels the, “I can’t take a break,” as well as, “I’ll get ragged on by my buddies.” There’s all sorts of causes, but one is the identity trap. So you’ve got to say to yourself, “My identity is not wrapped up in what I do. I’ll do the best I can. And I’ll help the people I can. And I’m not going to be defined by the size of the mission, the size of the business. And for me to be at my best, I’m going to have to take a break and have a rest.” And it really … Taking a break forces us to focus on other things, such as friends, families, or even favorite hobbies. I think it’s so important to be able to do that.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yeah. Right. Your third point that you … As we talk through this, what are we going to talk about? Your third point dovetails nicely off what you just said, and that’s the third reason to press into rest is that seasons of rest help us be more creative and give us renewed energy for the mission that we care so much about, right? That thing that drives us when we’re working. Rest helps us strengthen that. Helps strengthen that mission. Talk about that a little bit.

Warwick Fairfax:
Yeah. It’s so true. When I think of being up here in Northern Michigan for the summer and the pace of life shifts, the things to do is … We’ll get into, but it’s less of Beyond the Crucible. So as I’m walking in the woods or I’m praying or we’re out on the water or whatever it happens to be, I’m not thinking about Beyond the Crucible, but ideas will percolate in my head. I’ve written down, I think, as I mentioned, five or six different ideas for blogs and podcasts. And so ideas come. That by giving ourselves a break, it can give us renewed energy for the mission. I really try to live what I believe. And as much as I love Beyond the Crucible and believe in its mission to help people bounce back from their worst day and lead a life of significance, I try to make sure that my identity is not defined by it. As a person of faith, my identity is in Christ.
It’s in my faith. It’s not in what I do. What I do is an outgrowth of what I believe, but it’s not who I am. And so I really try to live that back to identity. But by having this season of rest, it gives me renewed energy. And all sorts of ideas percolate from it. Could be a walk in the woods. I’ve had times when I’ve been meditating on scripture, and out of left field, an idea comes from what we do at Beyond the Crucible, not related to what I’m praying about. I don’t know how that happens. Maybe it’s just me. I don’t know. But it’s when your brain-

Gary Schneeberger:
It’s not-

Warwick Fairfax:
… is focused on other things. Or it could be a hobby. It could be a bike ride. Or I’m not a woodwork, but some people love having a wood shop and making things. It could be all sorts of things, but it really gives this renewed energy and renewed creativity. It’s like you believe in your business, you want to be more creative, more energetic, think of ideas to take what you’re doing to the next level, whatever that might be, and have a season of rest. It’ll be better for your business and, well, your friends and family. It sounds kind of intuitive. How can having a rest be better for my business or mission?

Gary Schneeberger:
Right.

Warwick Fairfax:
Well, it can and it is.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yeah. And then the fourth point that you thought through while you were having your rest this summer, Warwick, was this, rest gives us the opportunity to find gratitude and joy in our family, our friends, and even in the small things in life. And this one really is a big one here as we’re talking about rest, isn’t it?

Warwick Fairfax:
Yeah. It’s so true, Gary. I do find when I’m resting, I am able to be more grateful. And I purposely do try to be grateful. If I’m walking in the woods, often when I walk, it’ll be with my wife, Gail, or with my family, but sometimes other things are going on and it’s just me walking in the woods and I might be listening to music. Could be classical music, worship music, all sorts of different things, which I love doing. But I’ll often think about how grateful … I’ll think about, “I can’t believe we get to be up in this beautiful place in nature and walks through the woods.” And I’ll think of just how grateful I am for my faith and have God, Christ in my life. I think of how grateful I am to have my wife. We’ve been married 35 years or more. I think of my kids.
My older son got engaged earlier in the summer, actually up here in Northern Michigan, which was super special. I think about that a lot because she’s a wonderful young woman. So I have a whole bunch of things that I am grateful for and I just run through them, and it just fills me with joy. When we’re out on the water, I just think of how grateful I am just to be able to do that and just the beautiful scenery and just the warmth of the sun and being with friends and family. Yeah. There’s so many activities up here that just fill me with joy, but rest gives us an opportunity to think of all the things that we’re grateful for and just the joy in the little things of life. We have kayaks up here. And when it’s calm, which is not always because it is Lake Michigan after all, but when it’s calm, [inaudible 00:42:47] it’s sunny, warm, calm, let’s go on the kayak.
And I did rowing in high school and my college at Oxford. So I feel like I kind of know what I’m doing a bit with kayaking. I may not, but I have that feeling. And I love that. I’m just paddling along and just around the shores here. Where we are in Northern Michigan, it’s just so beautiful, just seeing the boats, the houses. Just the water’s incredibly clear here, so seeing the rocks underneath and the water lap against the kayak. And it’s so restful, but it just fills me with such joy. Just a simple thing, paddling in a kayak. But it’s all those things, they really recharge your batteries.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yeah. And in this period over the summer, I had the opportunity, right? My wife, Kelly, and I went to International Falls, Minnesota. I live in Wisconsin. So International Falls, Minnesota, folks, if you’re not aware, it’s both the icebox of the nation, it says, that’s its motto, the icebox of the nation, but it’s also at the very corner. It’s on the Canadian border. And someone very special to my wife and I, a young woman who I’ve called for, gosh, 15 years now, my heart daughter, someone who I came alongside when she was younger and filled … Was blessed to be able to fill a little bit of a father figure role in her life. We went up and visited her and her husband and their three kids in International Falls. And we did …
We didn’t kayak. We canoed. And I did not do that in college. And I was not very good at it on Rainy Lake up in International Falls, but it was still fun, right? Those kinds of things, you can’t … The things that happen there, both when you’re having fun and you’re just laughing and joking and doing things. We played this word game’s kind of like Scrabble. It’s called Upwords. And their middle son, Ben, who’s named after me, Benjamin Gary Kershman is his name, right? So my namesake, right? Ben’s playing the game. And Ben, very, very thoughtful about words, comes up with a word that isn’t really a word. And it’s not offensive, but it’s just funny. And it just became like a running joke for us when we were there.
It’s those kinds of things that you’ll never ever forget that happened. Those are in the blog that we were talking about that I wrote. I wrote this line, “To find small anchors of joy when you’re trying to bounce back from a crucible and you’re enjoying rest.” And I think you can find small anchors of joy when you’re doing this that we’re talking about as you’re walking out your life of significance. And I tell you, I came back from that trip to International Falls, Minnesota, energized. My tank was at overflowing full. And that makes me better at everything that I do, both professionally and as a husband and stepfather here in the house, as a friend, as a brother, as all those things that I am. And I wouldn’t have been able to do that, frankly, if you didn’t have this idea every summer to take a couple of months off to go to Northern Michigan. If you didn’t go to Northern Michigan, I wouldn’t have gone to Northern Minnesota. So that benefits me as well. Yeah. You cannot overestimate how important those moments, those small anchors of joy are, right?

Warwick Fairfax:
Yeah. And I love that phrase that you used in the blog, “Small anchors of joy.” I think I was watching a movie the other day. And one of the characters said, “Life is made up of just moments and memories.” And it’s true. What are the moments you’re trying to build? I guess another way of saying good moments would be anchors of joy. Well, if you’re running at a million miles an hour, that’s going to be hard. Talk about sitting back, looking at the roses, smelling the flowers and all that. Well, you can’t do that when you’re running super fast. You wouldn’t have been able to go to Northern Minnesota, whether it was Beyond the Crucible or other things you’re involved in if it’s like, “No, I can’t afford to do this. I’m doing A, B, and C. And I’m flying here, there, and everywhere.” Or whether it’s us here in Northern Michigan. Most of my wife, Gail’s family is from the Midwest.
And so they were within a few hours of here, which we live in Maryland most of the year, but we spend our summers here. Well, they come here and they love it between the boating and kayaking and all different activities and bicycle riding and just visiting some of the beautiful towns here and the walks we have in nature at various places. It’s just a wonderful place. But that wouldn’t be possible if we didn’t sort of allocate this as a season of rest. And when family come, I’m able to be present rather than say, “I’m sorry. I’m doing a podcast every day this week and writing blogs. And enjoy.”

Gary Schneeberger:
Right.

Warwick Fairfax:
That’s not going to bless my wife or my kids. And so you’ve got to … I’ve got to be present while I’m here.

Gary Schneeberger:
And one of the reasons that you have to be present is because while everybody who’s watching and listening knows you as the founder of Beyond the Crucible and the host of this program, in Northern Michigan, around your family, you’re known as what?

Warwick Fairfax:
Well, it’s kind of like the resort manager because it’s just us. In a resort, you’ve got a whole bunch of people to help. Well, it’s just the two of us. So when we come here, we’ve got to open the house up and make sure everything’s working, which usually it is, but sometimes it’s not. So got some house management things to take care of, people to call to fix stuff. But whether it’s boats, kayaks, we have a couple jet skis, which a lot of folks enjoy, Gail’s family and all. And there’s just a lot to get done, make sure everything’s working, and make sure everybody knows how to operate everything. Yeah. It’s not like we’re just sitting back, reading a book all summer. There are seasons of that, but there’s also seasons of hosting people and helping people get from A to B.
“And gosh, we’ve got 11 people here from Gail’s family and our kids. What are we going to do? Well, let’s see. Let’s go ride bicycles. Well, the bicycle trail is 20 minutes away and we’ve got to get bikes from A to B. How’s that going to happen?” So putting bikes in the back of cars and back on bike carriers. “And okay. What are we going to eat?” So it’s different level of … It’s not really work, but it’s different level of activity, just making sure that people are cared for and activities are planned and you can make things happen. Yeah. There is … I don’t want to say work, but different kinds of activity, different things to do, but it’s not Beyond the Crucible. Some people might say, “Gee, it’s summer. I’m going to take a couple weeks off to build a deck.”
Well, doesn’t sound like rest, but it’s different levels of activity. It’s resting from your normal job, at least for those who … There’s some that people actually really like building decks. I have a good friend that building decks or going on stuff with Samaritan’s Purse to help people build houses in flood-damaged places, he finds that therapeutic. That’s rest for him. It energizes him. That wouldn’t be me. But for some people, building houses and decks, it’s just therapy.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yeah. It’s not my testimony either, Warwick. So Warwick, that landed the plane on the conversation that we’re having here about the importance of rest and redefining rest in our lives, especially as we’re walking out our lives of significance. What are some takeaways that came to you? And I know we haven’t prepared this in advance because all this, folks, was kind of like a by the seat of the pants. So Warwick had these thoughts and we just kind of went with it, which is kind of fun for us. So how would you sum this up for folks? What are the takeaways you’d like to see them walk away from here with?

Warwick Fairfax:
I think the starting place is we often feel guilty about even thinking about having rest. Little easy in Australia. A little harder here and in some other countries. Or you might have friends that you know are going to tease us, “Oh, that’s great. You can have a rest. And I can’t. And hey, while you’re having rest, I’m going to be plowing forward in my job and career. And so see you. I’ll be way ahead of you while you’re just sitting back resting and kind of doing nothing on the beach or whatever you do.” So we can guilt trip ourselves into thinking, “I can’t afford to have a break. If I have a break, there might be other people that will get ahead of me, the people that never take a break. I won’t get that promotion at work.”
Or it may be, “Boy, that business or mission I’m doing, I’m so off-the-chart passionate about it. The people I help, that they can’t afford for me to take a break.” But we can just guilt trip ourselves into thinking, “I can’t take a break.” But we need to realize, in the words of Jason Bourne, that rest is a weapon. If we care about our family, if we care about our coworkers, if we care about the people we want to help, we have to find ways of taking a break, whether it’s taking a Saturday off, a weekend off, or a couple months off in the summer. When I say, “Take a couple months off,” everybody’s in a different situation, but find ways of having rest because if you don’t, you won’t be at your best and you’ll probably start hurting your family, friends. Thinking of it positively, when we take a break, we’ll be better with our families and friends.
We’ll be more creative, more enthusiastic at work. We’ll probably treat our coworkers better, those that work with us. And I think as you put it, Gary, in your blog, we’re talking about small anchors or anchors of joy. We can think about all the things we’re grateful for, our families, our spouse, partner, kids, friends, the work we do, and just find joy in a walk in the woods, find joy being on the water, find joy for those that like woodwork, building something in their wood shop. Wouldn’t be Gary and I. But there are some [inaudible 00:54:18] that enjoy that, from what I’ve read about and know.
But none of that happens without rest. So if you feel like what you do is important and the people that you’re with, friends and family, are important, if those things are important, your work, your mission, your friends, your family, if they’re all important, you have to find a way to rest. Forget the guilt trips. Forget what other people might say. Forget what the negative voices inside you are saying. Make rest a priority. The people you’re around or the work you do is too important for you not to rest. Just do it. Find a way. Commit to having rest.

Gary Schneeberger:
You’re not out of practice, Warwick. It’s been a couple months since we’ve done this, and you just got a perfect 10-point landing there on the episode. Folks, as we often do when we do episodes like this, and they’re normally based on one of Warwick’s blogs, but since this one is only based like about a third on a blog that I wrote at the start of summer, I’m just going to … Rather than do three reflection questions, I’m going to do one because it’s the most important, I think, reflection question. And that’s this, how can you … Think about this, folks. How can you redefine rest as you pursue your life of significance? Right? How can you redefine rest? We’ve been talking this whole episode about redefining rest, what it really means, what it really looks like when you do it. And then commit to doing one of the ideas that you come up with on a regular basis.
One of the things you heard Warwick say, as we’re talking through this episode, was while he’s resting, he’s like, “Oh, and here’s an idea for a blog I could write. Here’s an idea for this I could do. And here’s an idea for this I could do.” As you lean into your rest, what are the ideas that you come up with on a regular basis? And how can you use those things to find joy in your life and accomplish other things? And that, folks, will end our first episode back. We did okay, Warwick. Our first episode back from our summer series.

Warwick Fairfax:
Indeed.

Gary Schneeberger:
So remember, folks, we will be back next week. And we do understand. We understand how hard crucibles are. Warwick’s been through them. I’ve been through them. But we also know they’re not the end of your story. And we’ve had so many guests on who’ve talked about how they’re not the end of your story. They can be the beginning of your story if you learn the lessons from them and apply those lessons as you move forward in your life of significance.
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