

Want To Make A Greater Impact? Practice The Power Of Saying “No”!
by Warwick Fairfax
January 31, 2025
There are many challenges in life, but there are also many opportunities. When people ask us to help them, for many of us it is hard to say no. Or perhaps you see a lot of opportunities where you can have an impact, where you can make a difference. This could be business opportunities, or nonprofit or charity work. It could even be with your family. Perhaps your kids are in sports or artistic activities. You volunteer to coach your kids’ basketball team or help out with a dance recital.
All these opportunities to have an impact or do something you enjoy or that seems so fun are hard to resist. They can be opportunities that you may not look forward to, but someone you care about asks you to help. You feel you can’t say no. You don’t want to disappoint them.
The problem with saying yes to everything — or to a lot — is you spread yourself too thin. You can end up not doing anything that well. You then may well disappoint people, and you may let down the very people you don’t want to let down. That eats away at you, and you feel terrible.
So as we start this New Year, let’s have a resolution to just say No! That is, to say yes to less and no to many opportunities that come your way. But how do you know what to say no to and when to say no, and what about disappointing people? All good questions. Here are some points to help you work this out.
1. Anchor all decisions in your beliefs and values. When assessing an opportunity, whether it is something you come across or something someone asks you to help out with, evaluate to what degree does this opportunity align with your beliefs and values. If it does not, the answer is simple. It is No! Sorry, I can’t help out with this. You don’t have to get into all the details necessarily, but decline the invitation or opportunity.
2. It must relate to your purpose and the legacy you want to leave. As we start exploring and living our vision for our lives, we should have a sense of what our purpose is and what we want our legacy to be. We need to know how the things we do will lead us to living a life of significance, a life on purpose dedicated to serving others. Potential opportunities should fit into the vision we have for our lives, the purpose and legacy we want to leave. If it doesn’t, find a way to say no.
3. It should tie in to your skills and abilities. We may be asked to help out with an activity for which we have no aptitude. Make sure what you spend your time on is in line with gifts and talents.
4.Make sure you are passionate about the opportunity. You need to be excited and enthused about the activities that you will spend your time on. Perseverance only goes so far. You need to really want to spend time on this opportunity.
5.Beware of your energy level. We all have different capacities. Some people get up early, go to bed late. They just have high energy levels and seem to take on a lot — almost anything, it seems. We are different with varying capacities and energy levels and a different ability to take on several things at once. Know your capacity and energy level. Don’t judge yourself if you feel your capacity and energy level is not as high as others’.
6. Be realistic. No matter how much energy or capacity you think you may have, we as humans tend to underestimate how much time and energy a prospective opportunity will take and overestimate how much energy and capacity we have and how many things we can do at once. Get advice from a few trusted friends, potentially family members, who know you well. They may well be more realistic than you will be about how many activities you can take on at once.
7. It is not about what others want you to do. You can’t live your life based on satisfying other people’s expectations. First, that is not the way to live. Second, you can never keep everyone happy and satisfy everyone’s expectations. That is a losing battle. Decisions should be based on what you want to do; and how the opportunity lines up with your beliefs and values, gifts and skills and passions, and the purpose and legacy you want to leave.
I am not a huge believer in New Year’s resolutions. Most of us don’t keep them and then we are disappointed. But a New Year’s resolution to just say No? That makes sense. Resolve this year to pare back your activities to the key ones that tie into your beliefs and values, are in line with your gifts and skills and passions and your purpose and legacy.
Say yes to the great opportunities, and say no to the good. Make the bar for you to say yes higher. It is not about keeping everyone happy and not disappointing them. It is not even about doing so much that you are competing with yourself to make sure your legacy is not just good, but incredible. It is not a competition with others or yourself.
To have a great impact and make a difference, do less. You will end up having a greater impact and making a greater difference than you think.
Reflection
– Pare back your activities. Resolve to say no to the good so that only the great opportunities are left
– Make sure all your opportunities and activities are in line with your beliefs and values, gifts and skills, your passions and reinforce your purpose and legacy.
– It is not about making others happy or competing against yourself to make you feel worthy. Do what you feel led to. Your self worth should not be tied up by how many things you are doing.
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