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professional identity crisis, crafted with the reflective and transformative visual style of Beyond the Crucible.
professional identity crisis, crafted with the reflective and transformative visual style of Beyond the Crucible.

How Can You Avoid A Professional Identity Crisis? Do Some Soul Work.

Warwick Fairfax

October 4, 2024

Identity is something we talk quite a bit about at Beyond The Crucible. Particularly, the dangers of having your identity, your whole sense of self, wrapped up in what you do. It is easy for your mission, your vision, your life of significance, no matter how noble the purpose might seem to end up being all about you.

You may not consciously be aware of it. You might think that the vision is about serving others, but yet your ego might be pretty wrapped up in what you. Inside you might be thinking, “Look at me! I am pretty wonderful. Look at the people I am helping. I absolutely deserve to be admired by other people.”

I grew up in a 150-year-old family media business in Australia, founded by my great great grandfather John Fairfax. In 1987, after my dad died, I launched a $2.25 billion takeover of the media company, ostensibly to change management and to see the values of the company be more in line with those of the founder. This failed spectacularly with the company going into bankruptcy three years later in 1990.

For me at the time of launching the takeover, my identity was absolutely wrapped up in being a Fairfax, in being someone seen by my parents as the heir apparent to the media dynasty. My whole life I prepared myself for my future role in the company, with an undergraduate degree at Oxford University, working on Wall Street, and with a Harvard MBA. It was all about the vision and mission to preserve John Fairfax Ltd. for future generations and to serve the nation of Australia.

But my whole sense of self was wrapped up in feeling like I was the heir apparent who had to restore the family company to the vision of the founder. After the company went into bankruptcy and passed from family control, my identity was hit hard. Who was I if I was not part of the family business?


 

Recently, we have had two podcast guests who have been very successful with their business and philanthropic endeavors, but yet have not had their identity wrapped up in what they did. Both pursued missions that were focused on helping people. So often, people in those situations have their whole sense of self wrapped up in what they do, and then when they are no longer leading those ventures, as is the case with these two people, their ego comes crashing down and they suffer an identity crisis. Who am I if I am not the head of this successful life affirming venture?

So who were these two guests? The first was Stephanie Woollard, an Australian woman who founded an organization called Seven Women that equips and empowers thousands of women from Nepal who were marginalized by their society. The second was Jason T. Smith, also an Australian, who founded the Back In Motion Health Group, which was Australia’s largest physiotherapy network, supporting more than 140 franchisees with a team of more than 700 employees. Jason sold the business in 2020 for $100 million.

These podcast episodes with Stephanie and Jason only recently came out and we recorded those two episodes within a week of each other.

What astounded me about Stephanie and Jason is that they did not have their identity wrapped up in what they did, and when they were no longer in control of their ventures they moved onto other things, without the usual cry of, “Who am I if I am not heading up this organization?” This despite the accolades that both Stephanie and Jason received.

When I asked Stephanie about how she handled letting go of Seven Women, she said it was not like handing her baby over, and that she never saw it like that. She said that, “No, there’ll be the next place for me to make the next bit of impact. And it never defined me or who I was that I’ve seen people where what they do really is their identity. And I think that’s dangerous because what if you get sick of it?”

Jason said that as he was thinking of selling Back In Motion, he had prepared for this in part through the mentoring of a great organization called Halftime. He said in his case the issue of identity was a bit different, “because I never wanted the business in the first place because this actually wasn’t my plan for my life. … It was almost relief when I sold it rather than a deconstruction of my identity.” Jason had wanted to be a medical missionary in a developing nation. When he did not get into medical school, physiotherapy was a second choice for him.

There are powerful lessons we can learn from Stephane Woollard and Jason T. Smith about not having our whole sense of self and our identity wrapped up in what we do.

1. Do some serious self-examination and reflection. Is the venture you are about to launch or have launched truly about serving other people or is it more about you?

2. If you weren’t involved in the business how would you feel? Does that thought make you nervous? If so you need to do some serious reflecting.

3. Ask some people for help. Jason has always had mentors in his life, who he can lean on for advice. That can be very helpful. Ask those mentors or people you think could be your mentors, how much do they think your ego, your identity, is wrapped up in what you do.

4. If you find that much of your ego or identity is wrapped up in what you do, be willing to get out. Does that thought make you nervous? If the business or organization is more about you than those you serve, you will inevitably make decisions that tend to serve you and not those you serve. Is that really what you want to do?

5.Do some hard soul work. One of the keys to Stephanie’s and Jason’s stories was that they were people of faith and were always trying to serve a calling that was beyond their own agendas. In both cases, their mission and vision was truly anchored by serving those who needed what their organizations did. It was a cause, I would almost say a sacred cause. It was never about money and ego. They had their hearts in the right place before they launched their organizations.

6. Every day, pray or meditate to whatever higher power you believe in. For me, I often pray that what I do now with Beyond The Crucible would not be about me but would be about helping others. In our case at Beyond The Crucible, we believe that your worst day does not have to define you. That you can bounce back from your crucible and lead a life of significance, a life on purpose dedicated to serving others. That you can change the direction of your life and write a new chapter in your story.

7. Remember that not only are you not defined by your worst day, but you are not defined by your best day. Our worth cannot be tied to what we do or how others perceive us in our role of leading our initiatives. When others look down on us, that does not necessarily mean we are bad people. And when others look up to us, that does not necessarily mean we are worthy of adulation. We are a mixture of positive characteristics and some ones that are not so positive. We are all human. Our merit and self-worth does not come from what we do, but — from my perspective — it comes from above, from a higher power.

If you can’t get your ego in check, then don’t launch the business or organization. Let someone else who has done the inner soul work launch that venture. Until you work on yourself, you will not be very good at helping others. You will set yourself up to fail and will set those up you are trying to help to fail. Is that what you really want?

Reflection

How much is your ego wrapped up in the mission or cause you are pursuing?

How important is this mission or cause to those your organization serves?

Are you willing to get out of this venture or not pursue it, if you can’t get your ego in check? Are you willing to do the inner soul work so that you can make your cause or mission truly about the people you serve and not about you?

Are you ready to move from trials to triumphs? Then join us on the journey today.  Take our free Beyond the Crucible Trials-to-Triumphs Self-Assessment.

We share inspirational stories and transformational tools from leaders who have moved beyond life’s most difficult moments to create lives of significance.

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