Finding Your Vision In The Joys of Your Youth

Looking backward to move forward. That’s the focus of this week’s episode based on Warwick’s latest blog. In that piece and in this discussion about it, we talk about the gains you can make toward discovering a life of significance from what you loved in your youth. It’s not always a linear journey, but if we do some self-reflection and talk to friends and family who knew us when, it can lead to the most rewarding now we could ever imagine.

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Transcript

Warwick Fairfax:
Welcome to Beyond the Crucible. I'm Warwick Fairfax, the founder of Beyond the Crucible. Often the keys to moving forward is to look backward. Think about when you were a kid, you could be maybe six, seven, 16, 14, it doesn't matter. What did you daydream about? What did you enjoy doing? What were you passionate about?

Gary Schneeberger:
Looking backward to move forward, that's the focus of this week's episode based on Warwick's latest blog. In that piece and in this discussion about it, we talk about the gains you can make toward discovering a life of significance from what you loved in your youth. It's not always a linear journey, but if we do some self-reflection and talk to friends and family who knew us when, it can lead to the most rewarding now we could ever imagine.
Welcome, friends to this episode of Beyond the Crucible. You have dropped in on an episode that we do once a month that features a blog that Warwick has written. It's a very interesting subject that we hope will help you cast your vision for a life of significance in a place you might not expect. That's a teaser for what we're going to get into. Warwick, I will say this about this episode. This is one where you needed to go back to help others find a way to move forward, right?

Warwick Fairfax:
Yes, absolutely. That is so well said.

Gary Schneeberger:
So that being said, what led you to write this blog which you titled Find Your Life of Significance in the Hopes of Your Youth? Those things may seem a little contradictory, but how do you do that? What led you to write this particular blog on this particular subject?

Warwick Fairfax:
I've been reflecting recently on the connection between my hopes and dreams, my passions, things I was thinking of when I was growing up with what I do now. And it's interesting, often life is easy to understand looking backwards to see the connection between who I am now with who I was when I was growing up. And so I began to see that some of the things that I was really passionate about when I was growing up and the dreams that I had is what I do at Beyond the Crucible. I began to see connections between these different themes. For me, it became useful to connect the dots between what I do now and who I was and what I was dreaming of, beliefs and passions when I was growing up.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yeah. And so I'm going to ask you in a second to talk about what those connections were between what was going on with you when you were growing up and what you do now at Beyond the Crucible. But before I do that, I mean, it's important to note, we're not just talking about Warwick Fairfax and his experiences, right? This is applicable. What we're going to talk about in this episode is applicable to everybody else. So I would encourage, as you hear Warwick talk about what we're going to talk about here, we'll prompt you to think about those things for yourself. That's fair, right?

Warwick Fairfax:
I think really my story, it's an illustration, a parable, albeit almost a crazy illustration since it just seems so different between what I was thinking of back then and who I was and my dreams and hopes and what I do now. But I think we're going to extrapolate more generally in terms of what can help really anybody think of who they want to be in the future by connecting with who they were in the past. So it's really, we're starting up by talking about my story is really almost an allegory or a parable that then hopefully will illustrate some of the more general points that we're going to get into.

Gary Schneeberger:
Awesome. So spin that yarn, spin that parable. Talk about those connections in your life that have elucidated this point that we're talking about this week.

Warwick Fairfax:
Well, once upon a time in a land far, far away. If anybody, any Star Wars fans out there, but no, I didn't grow up on another planet, but I grew up in Sydney, Australia, and I grew up in a wealthy 150-year- old family media business. And it was founded by my great-great-grandfather, John Fairfax, a person of great faith. And by the time I grew up, it grew to be a huge media company with newspapers, magazines, newsprint mills, TV, radio stations. We had the three major papers in Australia, the equivalent of the New York Times, Wall Street Journal and the Washington Post.
So I felt growing up, it was my duty to go into the family media business. And so I did my undergrad degree at Oxford, like my dad, worked on Wall Street, did my MBA at Harvard Business School. And when my father died in early '87, I felt that it was my duty to do something about the challenges I felt were in the company. My father was in his 80s when he died and I was a child of his third marriage and I felt the company wasn't being run well or run along the ideas of the founder. So I launched later in 1987, a $2.25 billion takeover to try to deal with these issues and things went wrong.
Right from the beginning, we ended up having too much debt and the company had to file for bankruptcy three years later in 1990 when Australia got in a big recession. So this was obviously a very traumatic event, not so much because of the financial loss, which was obviously a lot, but feeling like I'd lost this 150-year-old family business founded by a strong person of faith, which I was and am. And feeling like I let my father down, my parents, thousands of employees, family. It was ... Even God down in some strange sense. I felt like God had a plan and to resurrect the company and the image of the founder and I blew it whether that's the case or not is another question.
But all that's to say was pretty traumatic. And so now what I do is I have a podcast, this podcast, Beyond the Crucible. We just celebrated our 300th episode, which is a big deal. Not many people, what is it? 1.79% or some percentage get to that point. So it's amazing. And we're in the top 5% of global podcasts. I write blogs, you post on social media. In 2022, I wrote Crucible Leadership, which was a Wall Street Journal bestseller. So you might look back and say, "Well, what possible connection could there be between growing up in a family newspaper business, a very large one in Australia and having a podcast and a blog and writing a book, Crucible Leadership [inaudible 00:07:15], it seems so different."
But what's interesting is, as I look back, I dreamed of being in a role in the family media company where people would feel cared for, where they would feel that working for John Fairfax Limited, that was a safe place, where they would feel fully appreciated. I mean, that was always the history in our company when my great-great-grandfather, John Fairfax died in the 1870s, his employees felt they'd lost a kind, invaded friend. There were no worker rights laws back then in Australia or pretty much anywhere. So I wanted to really make sure that legacy was continued, if not strengthened, and some of those ideas of the founder were really gone back to and just strengthened even more.
So that was a huge, huge, really passion of mine growing up because we had thousands of employees. Wanting to feel like the John Fairfax Limited was a place where they would really feel like family in a sense. Their voices were heard and it would be just this wonderful place for them. So one of the other themes as I reflect on what I was passionate about growing up is I've always loved stories. As I mentioned, my father was older when he had me, and one of the ways we kind of bonded or communicated was through stories, was through history. And I remember being seven years old and my dad would read me stories of great ancient Greek heroes from a book written in the 1800s called The Heroes by Charles Kingsley.
It included classic stories about these great mythological heroes, Perseus, Jason and the Argonauts, Theseus. And my father being very much an Anglophile, even though our family had been in Australia since gosh, late 1830s, he loved British heroes. And so he would tell me stories of Admiral Horatio Nelson and his victory in the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805 with the Duke of Wellington who defeated Napoleon at the Battle of Waterloo in 1815. And what's interesting is as I look at what we do now at Beyond the Crucible is we tell stories and I've always had this passion for stories of great heroes, defying the odds. It was almost like superheroes of another age, if you will. They didn't have superpowers, but they maybe had super courage, super bravery. I love those stories.
And again, at Beyond the Crucible and in my book Crucible Leadership, we do tell stories. We tell stories of people who bounce back from devastating crucibles to make a difference in the lives of others, people who lead lives of significance, lives on purpose dedicated to serving others. And we tell stories of people who truly care about others. I'd say pretty much everybody we've had on our podcast, they've gone through devastating crucibles, but they've used what they've been through to found nonprofits or in other ways, find ways to care for people. Either to care for people who've been through what they've been through and help them bounce back quicker, or maybe to help people avoid the crucibles that they've faced.
So it is very interesting as when we look back in a very real sense of Beyond the Crucible, we tell stories of heroes who deeply care for others and bounce back from extraordinarily difficult circumstances. So it's in some very strange way, what could there possibly be a connection between 150-year-old very large family media business and what I do now Beyond the Crucible? Well, we tell stories like I loved growing up and we tell stories of people that deeply care for others and make a difference. And in our own small way, I like to think we also try to make a difference in the lives of those who view and listen and read what we talk about here at Beyond the Crucible. So in some sense, I look back at who I was growing up and I can see direct connections in some very strange way because it's not something that's obvious. So who I am now feels so different and yet it's not.

Gary Schneeberger:
And you know what else? And I've been waiting for this moment to say this to you because what you've just described flies a bit in the face of what you've said often in blogs and on this show, and that is that you inherited a vision that was not your own. But I would submit that what you've just described, your vision of telling stories to people is not that dissimilar from John Fairfax's vision of telling stories for people.
He did it in newspapers, you do it through blogs and through a podcast. So I wonder if going through this process as you reflect, as a reflective person, as you reflect, do you see that maybe you're not veered away from the vision that you had from inheriting the vision as you've lived out your vision, you've gotten pretty close in many ways to John Fairfax's. Is that a fair assessment?

Warwick Fairfax:
Well, yeah. I mean, the arenas are different, but yeah, I think one of the important things that you're bringing up, I think certainly implicitly is when we think of legacy, sometimes people and family businesses or people are just successful in general think, "Well, my law firm, my investment firm, my company, that's the legacy." And that's really not correct. Whether your kids want to carry on in that business or not is really not so important. Your legacy should be more your character, how you treat people, the values and principles and beliefs that you have.
And we talk about this a lot at Beyond the Crucible, when it's your funeral, are you really going to care about what they say in terms of the size of your business or your bank account? Hopefully they will say you're a good father, a good mother, good husband, wife, you cared for your kids and friends. I mean, you would want people to think well of you and say, and obviously you sort of have an opportunity to live your legacy today, as we say. And so really legacy is more about the example you set for your kids and friends and the person you are.
At least I certainly tried to do that in my own way with my own kids, try to live what I believe. And they're all adults now, so I try to encourage them and counsel them. And I try to live what I believe. I mean, as I often say, kids will not listen to what you say, they will watch how you live, and that's what they'll pay attention to. And if those are out of sync, your words are largely meaningless. If the words are in sync with how you live, then maybe what you say will actually carry some weight and they might listen to some of it. So yeah, legacy, I think it's more about how we live our lives and how we live out our beliefs and ... Yeah.

Gary Schneeberger:
All right. Well, I'm going to let you off the hook now for talking about you. And let's get into, as we always do with these blog discussion episodes, you have extracted some insights and action steps that listeners and viewers can make to find significance in the hopes of their youth. So let's run through your points. Folks, if you've listened to these episodes before and the blog, most of the time, maybe 87.75% of the time, Warwick has seven points. This time he's overachieved. He has eight points in this blog. So let's talk about the first point that you have, Warwick. And it's a critical point. And again, as always happens here, you put these in perfect stair step order, but the first thing that you encourage folks to do is to be honest with yourself. Why is that the place to start here?

Warwick Fairfax:
As I started writing this blog, where I began is with somebody that's feeling listless and conflicted. They're confused. I mean, life can definitely be very confusing. It's like, "Who am I? Where am I? I'm not sure where I'm going with my career. I feel," maybe not numb, but "just, yeah, I got a paycheck and the weekend's great. Workers, yeah, it's okay. It's just kind of somewhat [inaudible 00:16:22]. I'm just not really passionate or excited and I'm not quite sure where I'm going, who I want to be, who do I want to be when I'm growing up except, oh wait, hang on, I am growing up. Shouldn't I figure this out by now?" And then you start feeling a bit bad about yourself, especially if you compare yourself to others, friends or people you see on social media or on TV that seem to have it all together and they know what their passions are.
And it's like, "Huh, wish that was me. They sure seem excited." And so we can gnaw away your soul. And I'm reminded of the words of Henry David Thoreau who talked about people leading lives or quiet desperation. We never want to be that person that's like, "Who am I?" And so that was really the starting point for the blog. So in terms of our discussion, if you're feeling this sense of being listless, unfulfilled, maybe quiet desperation, I don't really know that I'm passionate about anything, I'm certainly not passionate about what I'm doing, you got to be honest with yourself because very often it's like, "I'm going to," as one of our guests said, "bury those feelings in the basement, I'm just not going to feel my feelings."
So rather than saying, "I'm just not going to think about it. I'm just going to numb the pain with sometimes the things that are not helpful or I'm just going to live for the weekend." Be honest with yourself and say, "Look, I don't like where my life is. I don't like where my life is going. I don't feel fulfilled. I feel like I'm coasting and I want more out of life. Is this all there is? There's got to be more." So be honest with yourself and just say like Houston, "I have a problem. I don't like where my life is going. I may not know where I'm going, but I just don't like it." Maybe life is an awful, it's not like a nine out of 10 crucible. Maybe it feels like a three or a four in terms of that sort of a numbing pain. It's not like acute. Let's go to the emergency room, but it just feels like a numbing pain that's just this numbing headache that won't go away. So just be honest with yourself and admit that there's a problem.

Gary Schneeberger:
The second point in the blog, following off the first point about being honest with yourself is this, and this is the little linchpin of this whole discussion. Start reflecting on who you were when you were growing up. What does that look like and why is that so important?

Warwick Fairfax:
Well, this is not obvious. So you might say to yourself, "I don't like where my life is going. I feel like I'm leading a life of quiet desperation. Okay, but why should I look backwards? What sense does that make? I mean, how can that help me?" So that's where it actually can, because often the keys to moving forward is to look backward. Think about when you're a kid, you could be maybe six, seven, 16, 14, it doesn't matter. What did you daydream about? What did you enjoy doing? What were you passionate about? And don't worry if those ideas and dreams seem impractical. Yeah, "Well, I wanted to be an astronaut," or whatever, "I want to be a cowboy," or whatever the dream is, it doesn't matter so much as ...
First start with asking yourself, what were those dreams, those childish dreams and hopes? Just think about those things. Think about strands of ideas you had, things you liked, games you liked to play. Just think about those, about who you were, what you daydreamed about, what you loved doing. Forget whether they were practical, forget whether it makes any sense, but just go back, relive those childish dreams, those childhood dreams, and just step back in the time tunnel, so to speak, and remember those dreams and those hopes and who you were back then.

Gary Schneeberger:
And to help people see just how well this can work, I'm going to do a little show and tell here now work because as I reflected on this, I went back to my youth and I have actually pursued those things that I was very excited about. So I'm going to show this right here. You see this right here? This says, "The original adventures of Bar and Farm." Now, Bar and Farm was a ... Cop shows were all their age in the '70s when I was growing up, right? Super cop shows. And I created one for me and my friend, that's my friend Billy Fumo right there. That's me over there. And I, on an electric typewriter that my mom bought me when I was 10 years old, I began to write scripts for us to act out in our neighborhood. And I have, in this folder, the actual script. There it is right there, the scripts.

Warwick Fairfax:
Wow.

Gary Schneeberger:
And the date, if you look at the very top, you can see the date there. Maybe if you can't read it, the date is 1976. In April of 1976, almost 50 years ago, I sat in my house and so loved the idea of arranging words into sentences that I typed scripts. I created scripts for my friend and I to act out in the neighborhood. Over the course of those next 50 years, I had a career in newspapers. I have a career in public relations, all involving stringing words into sentences. I've written five books or co-written five books.
The most recent one just came out in January of this year. And it's an example. I say all that to say what you're talking about is it works. As I go back and trace those things, I'm fortunate that I followed through on those things. I leaned into those things as I was growing up, but you can truly find what you feel you were destined to do in what you discover as you think about yourself as a young person, a younger person. Any thoughts on how applicable this is to what we're talking about here?

Warwick Fairfax:
That's so cool. Bar and Farm. That's awesome.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yes.

Warwick Fairfax:
That is awesome. I mean, you also, obviously you love writing, you're an exceptional writer, but you also love telling stories. And amongst other things, you obviously do a lot of public relations things and a lot of work with Focus on the Family and you've done things in Hollywood with helping with movies to connect them to different audiences and public relations. Certainly Beyond the Crucible, we tell stories. You love telling stories back to a youngest age. In the books that you write, whether it's about James Bond or Frank Sinatra, Burt Reynolds, I mean, you're telling their story through all the movies that they've been in, which is a fascinating way to tell a story.
So yeah, you're also, I guess in some sense, like me, a storyteller. Yes, your path was a little bit more, I wouldn't say it was completely linear, but at least more linear perhaps than mine, because you've always written and used words in different arenas. So that all makes ... So yeah, I mean, I think you make a great point looking back. Well, why is Gary Schneeberger doing what he's doing? It's because he's always wanted to do that in one way or another. Did you know precisely at six, seven, 10, 11, "Oh, I'm going to be a newspaper editor and then I'm going to be in public relations"? Probably not. But that's okay. Even you have a more linear path. You didn't exactly know all that. I think didn't you want to be an English teacher at one point or something?

Gary Schneeberger:
I did. I did. Yeah.

Warwick Fairfax:
But yet, we'll get into one step leads to another step, but you knew you like stories and you like writing and you move forward with that and it worked out. So it's a great, great point. We can learn a lot from looking at our past.

Gary Schneeberger:
Indeed. And we can learn a lot by going to the third point in what you have described in your blog. And really that's right after point two, reflecting on who you were when you were growing up. Point three is write down the themes you are recalling. Why is it important to write them down and not just keep them up here?

Warwick Fairfax:
So we have all these memories, these passions, the stories of when we were young, the games we played, the people we were with. Well, it's time to get down to specifics. What were those dreams and ideas and passions? So for me, I was obviously focused on the family and media business, but it was also, I love stories of Greek heroes and Admiral Nelson and the Duke of Wellington had these dreams of people being cared for. You, Gary had dreams of maybe writing TV scripts, movie scripts, loved writing. What was that going to be? Who knew? But recall those specifics and then just write them down. You don't want to just ...
And the things that you were passionate about, like in my case, that having people feel deeply cared for, feeling like it would be a family working at John Fairfax Limited. That was important to me, just the memory of my ... which became clearer as I got older, but still when I was growing up, the memory of John Fairfax, my great-great-grandfather, his faith, what he stood for, honoring that legacy and memory. There were themes there, but you want to recall those and write them down and you might surprise yourself. Before you can move forward, you want to understand what those things were. Write them down. That's really a key step.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yep. And the fourth key step, and I'm interested to know exactly what your perspective is, because this one could go a lot of different directions. Ask yourself why. What specifically should you ask yourself why about as you've reflected and you've written these things down? Talk about that a little bit.

Warwick Fairfax:
Yeah. So as you're talking about these hopes and dreams, you want to understand, well, why? Why those hopes? Why those dreams? What are the underlying beliefs, values, and passions that lie behind them? Because the why matters. Often the why is more important than the what. A bit counterintuitive because the actual arena you may be doing things in may be different. You explore maybe some of these passions and things may feel hidden, but they can form the genesis, the origin story of what makes you you. So like in your case, rather than focusing on, gee, a young Gary wants to write TV scripts and movie scripts, great, but why? What's the why behind it? And maybe you love telling stories, creating characters.

Gary Schneeberger:
I actually wrote a note here.

Warwick Fairfax:
There's a why behind what you did. Yeah, please. What was the why?

Gary Schneeberger:
I actually wrote a note that says, "I loved the creativity, the new worlds that I could escape to when I did these things." And through journalism, that was the same thing. One time, a paper I worked at in Texas did a marketing campaign for everybody who worked at the paper, took our pictures and said, why we love working in newspapers. And I said, "I loved working in newspapers because you could change the way people thought, felt and acted just by the way you arranged words into sentences." And that is not even the power of that that moved me. It was the idea of that, that by the way that I strung sentences together, regardless of the medium, I could change the way people felt, thought, and acted. That was my why, for sure.

Warwick Fairfax:
Well, that's huge. I mean, again, just listen to what Gary said by the words he's using in newspapers and then beyond in public relations, he can help influence the way people think. And at the risk of saying the obvious, I think I'm sure it's your case, it's not just about an ego trip, is to try to help people and become better people. It wasn't just about, "Oh, I'm just going to do it just because I have fun jerking people around." It was about helping people improve, learn, grow.

Gary Schneeberger:
Entertainment. Entertainment.

Warwick Fairfax:
Yeah. And have fun. So The why behind, in this case, Gary's love of writing matters because the why then helps, in Gary's case, help him think, "Okay, so what are the kinds of things I should be doing in the future?" Well, the why can influence that. And obviously Gary knows well what he enjoys doing and what he wants to do and he's doing it. He doesn't have to do too much reflection anymore, but you know you're on track is if you ask yourself every day, every year, "Gee, am I telling stories that help uplift people and entertain people and somehow further them along their journey?" If the answer is yes, you're probably on track. Is that like a reasonable summary?

Gary Schneeberger:
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, what happens for me in that case is the "compliments" aren't just about, "Oh right, yay me." It's moved someone. Someone has been taken to a different place. Someone has been made to feel something different. It's moved them in some way. That's the why for me rather than the accolade, if that makes sense.

Warwick Fairfax:
And so the point about this and this discussion is imagine getting to the point where Gary is, where he's very specific on his why. "Has that piece that I've written, the thing that I've worked with, has that moved them in some fashion? Has that helped them in some fashion?" Gary has a very clear why. Imagine if you had a why as clear as Gary's, that would be helpful. I feel like in my own way, I also know my why. I like to be involved in organizations whose missions I deeply care about. I'm a person of faith so pretty much everything I'm involved with has a faith basis in some fashion.
And I love being a reflective advisor. I love telling stories. I love helping people on their journeys amongst other things in the church I go to that I'm an elder of a non-denominational church. I'm involved in a community group. I lead a life group. So I try to live out what I love to do and helping people in many different arenas. And certainly a big part of what I do is I love telling stories. So yeah, knowing your why can make it a lot easier to make decisions about the things you want to do. So understanding your why is why going back to your past and when you were young is so important.

Gary Schneeberger:
Folks, we are halfway through Warwick's blog, Find Your Life of Significance in the Hopes of Your Youth. Just a reminder, if you're listening to this or watching this on or after the 27th of March, it'll be on beyondthecrucible.com. If it's beforehand, wait until the 27th of March and you'll find that blog. Let's review where we've been so far, folks.
First point that Warwick makes in the blog is be honest with yourself. Second point, start reflecting on who you were when you were growing up. Third point is write down the themes you are recalling. And the fourth point we just described is ask yourself why. Onto point five, Warwick.
This is a good one. Begin almost an archeological dig. Love that phrase. To piece those shards of broken pottery together. Talk about that, about even why you used the metaphor of broken pottery, if there's a reason for that here.

Warwick Fairfax:
Yeah. And this is where you need to discover your inner archeologist. Remember, Indiana Jones was an archeologist. And so there you go. You want to be Indiana Jones? Be the Indiana Jones of your own life. So what I mean by this point is that you've got different themes of ideas, passions, and beliefs, and they're a bit like broken shards of pottery lying around. And so what you've got to do is begin to connect the dots. So one of the things I like to do, and in my case, as I look back, I loved telling stories and stories of heroes that faced long odds, significant crucibles, if you will, and found a way to overcome, not be defined by those crucibles, found a way to help others, found a way to show courage amidst really challenging circumstances. I've just loved those kind of stories and telling them and learning from them.
So connecting the dots, connecting those themes together is so fundamental because then it begins to paint a story. Well, what are those beliefs? What are the key elements to those dreams? Less about the dream itself. I mean, if you wanted to be an astronaut, well, why? Maybe you were like me, a Star Trek fan to boldly go where no one has gone before. Maybe it's the voyage of discovery, learning new things. Maybe it's the love of technology of overcoming problems that nobody seems to be able to solve. What's the why behind being an astronaut, for instance? There's always a why. So connect those themes of broken pottery, connect them together, connect those ideas of beliefs, passions, and dreams.
Again, focus less on the specific avenue, but what lies behind it? What's the why behind these passions, beliefs, and dreams? And are there two or three or four commonalities, themes that keep coming up? For both Gary and I, we have implicitly, if not explicitly, outlined our two, three different themes that connects the dots, that help us make decisions in the future. And I sadly didn't really do that after the whole takeover thing failed. It really didn't occur to me at the time. It's only more recently. As I said, life is often easier, lived backwards in one sense, but now it's clear to me. But yeah, so just connect those ideas together, ideas, passions, beliefs, and dreams, and you might feel two or three unifying themes that you'll find, I think, potentially very illuminating.

Gary Schneeberger:
And then point six, after you've done all of this work in and on yourself, your sixth point is this, "Talk to friends and family who knew you back then." So why is it important to layer in the perspectives of others in addition to what we've discovered about ourselves going through this process? Why is that so helpful?

Warwick Fairfax:
So you've done the first pass at this voyage of discovery at this archeological dig in which you've looked at your passions, dreams, visions, beliefs, and you've begun to connect the dots into forming just two or three key themes that seem to connect them. Again, the why is more important than the specifics. Well, asking friends and family, "Hey, back then, what was I like? What did I love to do? What were my dreams? What was I passionate about?" Maybe ask them to do their own archeological dig.
So do you see any kind of unifying themes there? Now, my guess is, Gary, if you asked some of the kids you knew back then, they might say, "Well, Gary loved telling stories. He was always dreaming about just different things and he just loved words." And I'm sure he wouldn't surprise you if you asked them, "What was a young Gary like?" Obviously they would know you well, but it wouldn't surprise you what they came up with. I think not now-

Gary Schneeberger:
Right.

Warwick Fairfax:
But X years ago, maybe it would've, who knows? But it would certainly be illuminating. They would, I think, probably affirm what you've said and maybe add some things, some color, some shadings that maybe you hadn't thought of.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yes, indeed.

Warwick Fairfax:
And maybe back then people would've said that about me, but it can certainly hopefully turn that impressions painting into more like photorealism or just add layers. And maybe there are areas that you might totally miss that you might've thought, "You know what? I never thought about that." It's really unknowable, but it's absolutely important to try because maybe they'll add 5% to your knowledge, maybe they'll add 80%, but they will certainly add some. So it's absolutely important to do that.

Gary Schneeberger:
And then folks, we move on to point number seven. This is a long one, but it's a good one. And that's this, "Start thinking about one step, one idea, one way forward to exploring what it would be like to be you, the real you in living out those ideas, beliefs, and passions today." Warwick, we talk about this all the time. You talk about this all the time. What's the one first step, the one little step that you can take to start to make your vision a reality? Why is that so important in this exercise as well?

Warwick Fairfax:
Sometimes trying to figure out what you want to do in life, where you want to go in your career and life in general, whether you're 25, 45, 65, whatever time in life you're at, it can be daunting. It can be confusing. It's like, "I have no idea. I mean, what is it all ... I just don't know what it all means." But what's helpful is to think about, "Okay, what's one step forward? Okay, I've got an idea of my passions, beliefs from when I grew up. I've done my Indiana Jones archeological dig. I've connected at the dots. I've talked to friends and family. Yeah, I've got my two or three themes. Do I know the exact profession, the exact business in the exact location?" And no, but it's one positive step. It might be talking to somebody.
It could be a job you might want to ask a friend about, "Hey, I don't know much about what you do, but can we have lunch? Can I buy you coffee? Can we just get together, and I'd love to hear more?" Just begin taking baby steps. And I think for me, after the whole family business, I went bankrupt and in the '90s, I ended up having a job at an aviation services firm doing some financial analysis and then some marketing analysis. And that was more ... it was less of, "Oh, let me find my dream job. Let me just find something to do that earn some money." But then when I went to a woman that did mid-career executive coaching in 2003, she put me through a whole battery of assessments and she said, "Warwick, I think you have a good profile to be an executive coach." And of course, I didn't know what that was.
She said, "Well, you're curious about people." And I'm not even sure she said that, but she just basically said ... And I just had this gut instinct. I thought, "You know what? I think I would love to learn about executive coaching because they're asking questions about people, they're trying to help people." Something intuitively felt ... it felt right. And so I went to an International Coach Federation conference in Denver, my first one, and I became an International Coach Federation certified coach. Was that the end of my story? No. I don't do as much coaching as I did back then, but it was a key important step that ended up after a few more steps leading to what I do now at Beyond the Crucible with my blog, podcast, and my book.
But did I know that was going to lead here? Absolutely not, but it felt like a key next right step in my journey of being more who I was designed to be. There was something about executive coaching, helping people fulfill their dreams, listening to their stories, caring for them through the means of asking questions. I don't know that I could articulate it all to that degree, but something about it felt like, "This makes sense. I know I can do this. I think I intuitively have the skills with some training. I can do this." I thought to myself, "I think I can do this well." But did I know what that was going to end up? How could I possibly have? It led to so many other things, but I knew it was the next right step.

Gary Schneeberger:
And that brings us to the bonus point, point eight. And really point eight can be ... We talk about this a lot too. Point eight can be sort of the final point in most of the things we talk about at Beyond the Crucible, and that's this. You got to trust the process, right? You have to trust the process. So talk about why after we've been through all of these seven steps before that, why is trusting the process such a critical, indispensable step?

Warwick Fairfax:
Most of us are impatient. We want the five-year plan. Heck, we'd like a 30-year plan with Gantt charts and milestones and metrics. And everything is laid out. We don't have to have faith, trust, belief. It's all laid out in minute detail. It's just great. We're just following the plan. It's like assembling Legos or maybe IKEA furniture, right? It's not always, sometimes the direction can be confusing, but still, at least there's a plan with a bit of trial and error. We can put a piece of IKEA furniture together. We can put Legos together. We can do this. Well, life is not like that.
And so yes, you've got to take that first right step that you know your gut is the right one. You've got to trust the process. So in my case, I had to trust the process. Yes, I became an executive coach. Well, through that avenue, I began to have coach-like discussions with a number of people and I began to have a leadership voice, which I never thought I could lead anything after the debacle of the family media business, but yet through the means of asking questions, I would make points to asking questions. People would say, "Well, Warren, that's a great point. What do you mean? I just asked a question. How can a question be a good point?" But it can be.
But I wasn't in doing this deliberately. That led me to being an elder at my non-denominational church. I was on the board of my kids' Christian school for many years that eventually trusting the next right step when I gave a talk in church one day, a sermon illustration that was talking about what I've been through in my life when people said, "Warwick, that was helpful." I thought, "Well, how could that be helpful? Nobody can relate to my story. It's just so different." I thought, "Well, maybe if I can write a book about my story and weave in stories from history and from faith leaders and stories from people of my own family ..." It really is a book about stories, surprise, my book, Crucible Leadership, but it's about people accomplishing great things.
And at least in my case, maybe it wasn't so much that, but stories of lessons I learned about through my mistakes. But each of those things, and then that led to, "Well, gosh, I've got to have a brand." And so we created a brand. And then, okay, part of getting a book published, which I wanted to get published is you want to create a social media following. One way to do that is have a podcast. I thought, "Huh, I can probably do this." I like asking questions after I'm a certified executive coach. And then you and I started that together. And so one step led to another. And so what does all this mean? It means trust the process. Trust that you've made the right decision for today and trust you'll make the right decision for tomorrow.
Now when you started off, gosh, I think you worked in a college newspaper in Wisconsin where you lived, you might have thought, "Maybe I'll be a work in newspaper." Did you think you'd get a newspaper edited? Maybe, maybe not. Did you think at that time, "Well, clearly I'm going to have a career in public relations? Clearly I'm going to go to Hollywood? Clearly I'm going to work with focus on the family and then be on the Crucible"?

Gary Schneeberger:
Right.

Warwick Fairfax:
How could you possibly know that? You didn't know that, but what's the next right step? Well, okay, I'm going to graduate. Maybe I can get a job in a newspaper somewhere. Okay. Did you know the plan after that? Probably not, but that's the next right step, right? But you trusted the process and it worked out. So trust the process and you want to make sure that you monitor how the steps you're taking does that link with your dreams, passions and beliefs. You want to make sure you keep on track, but you can't possibly have it all figured out. And that's so difficult to trust the process. It's not easy, but what's the next right step? Trust that you will make the next right step when the time comes and that you will know when that time has come.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yeah. I'll add a little side note to trust the process. And that's this based on my own story. Don't abandon the passion, right? Trust the process and don't abandon the passion because here's my story, right? I mean, you mentioned it just a little while ago. Post college, right? I graduated from college and it was not easy finding a job. And I was like getting a little bit nervous. And so my brother was a used car lot manager, right? He was a general manager. You're laughing because you're imagining me as a used car salesman. Yes.
That was the plan. The plan was I was going to go, because I was running out of trying to find newspaper jobs, I was going to go learn how to be his understudy and how to sell cars. And so on Friday though, before the Monday that I was supposed to start with him, I got a temporary newspaper job, temporary full-time newspaper job. A woman was going on maternity leave and they needed someone to come in and fill that three months for her. And that woman so loved her baby that she started back to work. I left the newspaper after three months.
She quit after one day being back at the paper, missing her child, and I got hired full time at the newspaper. The point of that story there is I gave up on the passion. I abandoned the passion. I thought, "Okay, I'm going to settle for this because I'm getting nervous. I'm getting jittery." And if I would have done that, and if that would have taken, if that would have stood, I can't imagine. Talk about, is this all there is? I can't imagine what my life would be like today.

Warwick Fairfax:
That is a haunting story because you could have in an alternate universe led a life of quiet desperation being a car salesman. Nothing wrong with that and not being a writer. You could have led a life of, "Is this all there is?"

Gary Schneeberger:
Right.

Warwick Fairfax:
"Let me live for the weekend." At least on the weekend, I can watch the Cubs or the Packers.

Gary Schneeberger:
That's not always exciting. Neither one of those pursuits are always happy either.

Warwick Fairfax:
But can you imagine if that's all there was, that would be sad. And it's not about your favorite sports team. Those are fun things to do in life, but they're not all of life. That's just part of life. So that's really a very important point you're making. And in my case, when I was working in this aviation services firm, I was getting good performance reviews, but I just had a, "Is this all a there is," moment. And being a person of faith, and I don't journal every day, but I journal every once in a while when I feel the need or the call. And I had that one of those moments back in, I guess it was 2003. And I remember as I was writing, I felt like God talking not audibly, but just in that quiet, deep sense that you sometimes have.
I felt like God saying, "Warwick, you're playing small. You're not using all the gifts and abilities that I gave you." And it wasn't so much that, "Oh, this is all beneath me. I'm a Harvard MBA." It was more like, "I'm not using all the gifts and the ability that I had." I couldn't articulate quite what that was. Hence, a friend knew this woman that was an executive coach that dealt with my career transition. And then as I mentioned, became an executive coach and went from there. But I made a decision that I was not ... I didn't audibly think this to myself, but I wasn't going to live a life of quiet desperation. I was maybe, what was I back then? I was probably in my early 40s, I guess I was at that time. Certainly wasn't 25. It felt like life is moving along here at that point in life.

Gary Schneeberger:
Great.

Warwick Fairfax:
I mean, it was what it was. And it's like, "Okay, I'm just not going to sit here for the next 20 years. Getting good performance reviews, great." But that would have been different, but as equally haunting as you staying, being a car salesman. Nothing wrong with either of those jobs, but that would have been, they talk about the road less traveled. Well, I'm glad neither of us traveled those two roads.

Gary Schneeberger:
Yeah. Amen to that. Yeah, for sure. Folks, that brings us to the end of Warwick's eight points on the blog, which is called Find Your Life of Significance in the Hopes of Your Youth. As we always do in these episodes, Warwick, I'm going to ask you this question. Folks have heard a lot of your perspectives and a little bit of my perspectives on how to do this, how to employ this in their lives, but what's the one truth, the most important thing that they can do that you'd like to leave listeners and viewers with from this episode?

Warwick Fairfax:
It's almost always easier to understand life looking backwards. It's certainly easier once you've found something to do that's life affirming that you feel like is making a difference. Now I can see the connections. Gary can see the connections. But unlike certainly me, maybe Gary, but certainly unlike me, the time to look back at your younger self is not if somehow you miraculously have fallen into your calling and you love what you do, it's using your gifts and abilities to some higher purpose. That's okay.
But ideally, go back and look at your younger self before you figured it out because maybe that will ... for those of us that maybe get off track, the time to look at it is maybe during those days when you feel listless and maybe not clinically depressed, but just somewhat depressed, discouraged, you're feeling like you're living a life of quiet desperation. Life is not terrible, but it's certainly not exciting. You feel like you're living a black and white life, not like a full color life.
That's the time to say, "Well, let me look back when I had those hopes and dreams and beliefs and passions. What were they?" Do the archeological dig, ask friends and family and create those two or three themes and figure out what's that one next step. And we haven't really talked about it that much, but when you're talking with your family and friends, find those fellow travelers, those who can encourage us, maybe those will be your fellow teammates. And as you take those steps and go, "Okay, here's what I'm thinking."
Maybe you can find a fellow traveler who knew you when you were young. That would be pretty ideal in this particular case. "So help me hold to the dream and not abandon it and help me hold to who I am, what I believe and the things I love to do and help me figure out, Okay, I'm on this first step. What about the second step? Does this make sense? I might say, 'I really think it does.'" Or might say, "I'm not seeing how this step two really links to what you're passionate about. It seems like there's a disconnect."
And they can help encourage you and sift through. And so fellow travelers can be very useful. So I think really what we're saying is that there's a whole lot that we can mine when we go back and look at our passions, beliefs, hopes and dreams, figure out those key themes, and then begin to take steps forward that give you a vision that's life enhancing. And it's important to note that when we talk about that kind of vision, we believe that joy and fulfillment only come through living a life of significance, a life on purpose dedicated to serving others.
So if you say, "Well, I believe my hopes and dreams lead me to living a self-centered life. It's all about me and all about getting money." I would argue I'm not really sure that that's the true you. The true you ... I mean, for most people, dreams tend not to be all about themselves. Again, that kind of hope and dream does not lead to a happy, fulfilling and joyful life. So I think it should be clear and hopefully obvious, connect those dots into a life affirming vision that leads to a vision of a life of significance where you focus on helping others.
And you want fellow travelers that make sure that as you're building these blocks together, that you're going to be focused on, "How can I help others in some fashion using the skills and abilities that I have? What's the next right step that will help me live this life enhancing vision that does in some way care for others?"

Gary Schneeberger:
Friends, I've been in the communications business long enough, not the car sales business long enough. I've been in the communications business long enough to know in the last word on the subject's been spoken in our host work, Fairfax just spoke it. As we always do on these episodes about Warwick's blogs, he has been kind enough to craft three questions for us to reflect upon. First question is this, who were you when you were young? What were your hopes, dreams, and beliefs? Reflection question number two, write down those themes of both dreams and ideas and the beliefs and passions that lie behind them. Connect the dots between these ideas and beliefs to form strands that make up the core part of who you are.
And then the third question for reflection, decide on one small step forward to begin to live in light of your dreams, beliefs, and passions, to reclaim who you were and really are. That's important. Can't stress that enough. To reclaim who you were and who you really are. And then talk to one person about what you are thinking about doing, someone who could be a fellow traveler in your journey, someone who could encourage you or perhaps be your partner on the journey. Folks, that's going to wrap up this episode of Beyond the Crucible. We will see you next week. We will have another story of someone who has not let their worst day define.
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